As Honest As Myself… A Short Memoir

My life… hmm, is interesting. If I could sum up my life, and lets hope that there are many more years ahead of me, in a few words – it would be described as interesting and paradoxical. I have to say, I remind myself as the character played in Forest Gumps by Tom Hanks. I like to think of myself as slow witted, but vastly intelligent. How is that so?

When I was younger, growing up, my step-father called me a lot of names. Eli, Elijah, stupid, idiot box, retard, slow, and the list goes on. Now, being mentally abused sucks when you are everything but those name calls. It especially sucks, when you are a defenseless child. It sort of creates a cognitive dissonance. And it worsens until you have a break down of some sort. But as I write on this amazing platform, I cleanse and rid my self of the hurt and trauma of growing up as a small boy.

My trauma…mental and physical abuse.

Luckily, and blessedly, I like to think of God as my father. When I was locked in the closet – I prayed to God and thought to God. When I was free from his mean spirited self, I sought an escape through my mind, however way I could.

Imagination began to develop more, being alone, and I realized that UU was just a lost child himself. His mother passing away when he was younger and his father passing during his adult years. But still, no reason is permitted to abusing two of your step-children… Me and my brother Amir.

But no one is perfect, so I forgave him. Still, I have to make sense of the trauma.

English, writing, was fed, but not quite actualized as my gift when I met Mrs. Rosenberger. An amazing English teacher who taught me and walked with me through my psychological endeavors and hurts in high school. She became an amazing mentor and mother figure for a year.

I remember sharing a book that I found – “The Power of Positive Thinking”, a seed that I planted with my mother figure. (My mom was just as cruel)… I was grateful and happy to have planted that seed because it stuck with me, and it led me to – “The Alchemist”, a book, that I buy almost every year now and give away.

Bad things happen to good people, but good people prevail. And bad people could be forgiven, and loved… That is my optimistic philosophy on people. Thank you for reading my short memoir and expressive therapeutic piece. Peace 🙂

Amor Fati