“Meditations 10…”

Growing up, you are taught, good and bad. But is the world really that black and white? No.

In psychology, people have different motivations, personality types, and are placed in conditions that drive them to do certain things and act in certain ways.

Sometimes you have to survive.

Sometimes you have to protect yourself.

Sometimes, sometimes.

No day is perfect, and every one has a shadow. Everyone has something that is dark about them. You, me and every human on this earth has a shadow. A shadow achetype is the dark side of a person.

It doesn’t make you a bad person that you have one. It just means you are human.

I like competition, and coming out on top as the Alpha male.

I enjoy listening to rap music and exercising my excess anger and passion through working out in the gym. Rap music with curse words, violent… But it does not represent my character, just my shadow.

I am not perfect.

I like exercising my Yin, my feminine energy. Through writing and reading.

I like exercising my Yang through pushing and pulling iron. Lifting and carrying weight… My male energy.

I want to be whole. Not passive and fake. I have no fascade or incompletness in my bones. I am authentic through my practices and rituals.

Overall, when I meditate – I am practicing being whole alone.

I love myself.

I love what I do. I love who I am becoming and who I currently am. I am strong and dominant.

Stoic.

I cannot call myself a christian. How many people have died being converted into Christianity or was slayed because of their custom?

I cannot support that. In fact, I think God is much bigger than the box Christianity places people in.

I think people need to wake up.

& I think I need to stay awoke.

And, I think God is beautiful. God is the universe. That is my belief, and it will not change. However, God is changing, and I am not sure if I will ever understand him, but my relationship grows with the universe as I grow in my happiness and complete self.

He shines on me.

I don’t want to be the athlete that carries a cross. There is something inauthentic about that.

I don’t want to be the athlete that goes to church every sunday. There is something passive and inauthentic about that too.

I want to be the athlete that grows in all conscious areas. Family, relationship, knowledge, virtue, culture, art, etc. Etc.

I want to be a complete man.

Not a christian. Not a buddhist. Not a scholar. Not a student. Not any label or box. I just want to be a well-defined man… Because at the end of that day that is all I am. I am just a man, trying to live each day positively and progressively. And I will die someday, knowing in my heart that I tried to be be the best man I could possibly be.

I’ll be proud then.

And I am proud now.

I know myself and I know where I am going. I don’t need anyone telling me otherwise or anything else, because I know my truth and passion. And it has blessed me thus far. Inside, my spirit is good.

Thank you. I love you, to whom is reading.

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