Get up and stop feeling sorry.
I coach myself, even though I hardly,
Can stand the thought of going…
What does God have in store for me?
In fact I am mad at him.
I am angry and sad at him.
Was I delusional in his promise.
Love was all I wanted.
Is suicide really defective thinking?
Because this world all around me is shrinking.
Closing in and sinking…
I need a drink to stop thinking.
I don’t drink at all.
Look at me. What am I thinking?
What will help? Not medicine.
Only I know.
I won’t share my thoughts too much.
I just know that this life is fucked.