One day I’m going to leave this Earth.
I will walk silently out of it. Few will remember my heart. Many will not even know, and others will not even care.
One day I am going to end my suffering once and for all. What will remain is my writings and poetry. The true essence of who I am.
One day I will end it, or life will end it. We are all going to die anyway…
But one day, my death will be a little too soon.
I am not strong enough, and I am not willing enough, like I used to be.
I need, I need, I need someone to believe in me.
I need your love, as if my very life depended on it.
My heart is broken.
I stitched it up, in hopes that someone could see that I needed a little care and attention.
I thought it would be you Jocelyn.
I thought that you could see the very life that you breathed into me, and the very life that I had to offer.
This is a coping mechanism.
This is merely expression.
The fact that you read this, gives me satisfaction.
I am so sorry to myself.
I am sorry to you.
I feel pitiful, and broken all over again.
I was climbing, and rushing to get back stronger.
I was building my life back solid.
I have some remaining remnants of your love to carry me just close enough to tryouts, but I hope I do not burnout or lose belief.
Because honestly, death, and walking away from this Earth is a stronger desire.
This is closure.
These are feelings.
This is simply how I feel.
These are my feelings.