Open Diary. 2
I am still standing, and I wonder how I made it this far.
Memories of abandonment, loneliness, and unresolved issues resurface.
I get a sense of discomfort, wishing I would have reacted differently.
Wishing I was smarter in the circumstances.
That’s neither here nor there, and I pay attention to the fact that I am still standing.
I am proud and appreciative.
I would have collapsed long ago, years ago, but I believe that God picked me up by my arms, and carried me to this place in my life.
It’s a turning point.
I see all that I am, and say damn it, I am strong.
Misunderstood, sometimes foolish, sometimes prideful, but undeniably strong.
Stories I have, need to be shared.
Memories deep in my heart’s mind, still needs to be expressed.
My soul, still needs to reach its fullest potential, and I mean full potential.
No stones unturned.
I come a long way, and I have battled my demons, and I will continue to walk with God.
I walk with him, it is true.
He is with me.
There is no force, no greater thing than his love.
I am learning to love God, because I’ve learned how to love myself already.
Now I am learning to love God, and really receive his love. To believe in his love. To accept his love. To really know his love.
I love you God, I say.
I love you too son. He says.