Open Diary. 2

I am still standing, and I wonder how I made it this far.

Memories of abandonment, loneliness, and unresolved issues resurface.

I get a sense of discomfort, wishing I would have reacted differently.

Wishing I was smarter in the circumstances.

That’s neither here nor there, and I pay attention to the fact that I am still standing.

I am proud and appreciative.

I would have collapsed long ago, years ago, but I believe that God picked me up by my arms, and carried me to this place in my life.

It’s a turning point.

I see all that I am, and say damn it, I am strong.

Misunderstood, sometimes foolish, sometimes prideful, but undeniably strong.

Stories I have, need to be shared.

Memories deep in my heart’s mind, still needs to be expressed.

My soul, still needs to reach its fullest potential, and I mean full potential.

No stones unturned.

I come a long way, and I have battled my demons, and I will continue to walk with God.

I walk with him, it is true.

He is with me.

There is no force, no greater thing than his love.

I am learning to love God, because I’ve learned how to love myself already.

Now I am learning to love God, and really receive his love. To believe in his love. To accept his love. To really know his love.

I love you God, I say.

I love you too son. He says.