I buried my feelings, and kept them in the dark and steep place.
I waited for a good time to let them awake.
I was busy trying to reason with my animalistic nature.
I was not confronting it, but dancing in the mud.
I need to learn to forgive myself…
Feeling the negative things: remorse, shame, and regret for once again, failed love.
At least I got a chance to witness it again.
I made temporary friends, and they assisted me on my journey.
I feel sadness, because they never experienced my higher nature.
The past is ingrained and not easily forgotten like erasers and as blinking.
I never saw the ship sinking, and quite honestly, I am not even sure if I was thinking.
I have lived my entire life by choosing my heart, so being cut off from that earlier in my journey was traumatic!
Tragic to struggle and find my way back to my emotions, but I had to dance in my filth.
I feel a beautiful guilt, because the love I felt, was so good, I’ll be writing, and writing, sharpening something, making sense.
Cleaning the good rinse.