I am wrought of emotions, and empathy is forced to feel again.
I look for signs, and secretly wish to be hugged.
I needed kisses and warmth growing up, beatings and depression weren’t enough.
It was a torture to my delicate mind inside my skull.
And my soul became calloused and cold.
But after time it became warm again by teachers,
Still I wanted to die and meet the reaper.
I felt like nothing made sense, especially when home felt like a hell.
Am I under some sort of spell, and what is this smell, of meanness and hate.
Each time I open the door?
You raise me to be naive?
You have driven me insane.
You have cracked my brain.
Left me in closets.
Beaten me with metal bats, all because I am not your biological child?
Why did you degrade me, stepfather?
Why did you abuse me.
Why did you use me.
Mother why would you allow him.
You are a female coward.
I do not hate you.
I do not even love you.
I love the world, but not you two.
If there are people that I will not love ever, it will be you two. Until you are on your knees begging for me to forgive you.
Otherwise, I am so wise to not let you off of the hook.
I deserve an apology because you two are crooks.
You stole my childhood and tried to turn me black.
I am saddened but I am growing stronger again.
I disown you as family.
You have thrusted upon me, insanity.
And now I am trying to piece together scraps and shards.
I am lucky to know I am not hard, because by God’s Grace he has given me insight and a special kind of love.
And he shows me that what you two did, was not right.
And what you two have done, has been evil and immoral.
And I will never ever be loyal – to a mean spirited soul like Yusef.
You are a disgrace to fatherhood and mankind.
I dislike you, and will never respect you, until I am given an apology.
You owe that to me!