I think that I have reached another level of understanding about myself, becoming more self-aware, and honest with who I am.
I am spiritual, gifted, talented, intelligent, and very well-rounded.
It is clearly evident to myself and others.
However, I am not 100% perfect.
A huge flaw, that I have…
I can sometimes say, hurtful & regretful things.
My behavior can display a dark soul at times, and it is like a hurricane –
Not caring to any degree, during and after the blaze.
I am detached a lot of times, and in the end, it only hurts me…
Leaving me alone, and in some ways desolate, lonely, and sad.
I have a high standard for people.
I am cold, but only to a degree.
Because I expect so much from myself and other people.
But it is like I am running a bossy business.
It is not necessary.
I believe because I value solitude, I overlook the importance of relationships.
Yet, when I am lonely, I feel too much sadness that I do not even realize that I have pushed people out of my life.
I have trauma from my childhood, and it has made its way into my young adult life.
I think that the best solution is to continue loving myself.
I will then know how to treat others, because I will not want to be treated the same way…
And still, I have to give myself some slack.
I am not so shallow and cold.
Especially not at first…
I think that I have a low tolerance.
I am weak in not having the best tolerance with interpersonal relationships.
In some ways, I can be shallow.
I have to work on this.
I also need to realize, that no one is perfect. No matter how genius, spiritual or emotional I am.
There is no perfect cookie.
Only Jesus was.
There is peace to be found in that –
To remember that everything: happiness, peace of mind, freedom, contentment, love, well being and quality health, and a solid social life – starts and ends with me.
