Meditations 1

I think that I have reached another level of understanding about myself, becoming more self-aware, and honest with who I am.

I am spiritual, gifted, talented, intelligent, and very well-rounded.

It is clearly evident to myself and others.

However, I am not 100% perfect.

A huge flaw, that I have…

I can sometimes say, hurtful & regretful things.

My behavior can display a dark soul at times, and it is like a hurricane –

Not caring to any degree, during and after the blaze.

I am detached a lot of times, and in the end, it only hurts me…

Leaving me alone, and in some ways desolate, lonely, and sad.

I have a high standard for people.

I am cold, but only to a degree.

Because I expect so much from myself and other people.

But it is like I am running a bossy business.

It is not necessary.

I believe because I value solitude, I overlook the importance of relationships.

Yet, when I am lonely, I feel too much sadness that I do not even realize that I have pushed people out of my life.

I have trauma from my childhood, and it has made its way into my young adult life.

I think that the best solution is to continue loving myself.

I will then know how to treat others, because I will not want to be treated the same way…

And still, I have to give myself some slack.

I am not so shallow and cold.

Especially not at first…

I think that I have a low tolerance.

I am weak in not having the best tolerance with interpersonal relationships.

In some ways, I can be shallow.

I have to work on this.

I also need to realize, that no one is perfect. No matter how genius, spiritual or emotional I am.

There is no perfect cookie.

Only Jesus was.

There is peace to be found in that –

To remember that everything: happiness, peace of mind, freedom, contentment, love, well being and quality health, and a solid social life – starts and ends with me.