I cannot stay alone for too long.
I will end up fancying the idea, of killing myself.
I will end up running in a loop of wanting to live and die.
Overthinking the matter.
I feel like a true outlier.
I am a misfit, going through the motions of feeling joyful again, about spending my time as an introvert, battling with transferring back to extrovert form.
I think about the past girls who were in my life.
Who left me because of a multitude of reasons.
From my sole perception, and only my perception, I was simply too much for them to handle.
Whether my intellect, love, or sheer being made them feel discomfort at some threshold – they in the end left me in darkness.
I lectured to them limitless possibilities, and the potential for anything being possible, on the subject of love.
They are wide eyed, and taken in – until the games begin.
And then they vanish, and then the love, the chemical compound, dissipates from their bones, and never mine.
My love only transforms in a progressive manner, and as for them – they shy away and it tells a clear description of their quality of soul…
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Well then explain to me how this is true?”
That will be my next question for my next love affair, and I will stare blankly into her soul – for her to kiss me.
Because women lie, and I will never tell a falsity.
And I will never allow my ego to intrude on our love, my future lover…
And I promise, that I will put nothing above you.
These are facts…
Because I am truly lonely.
And I desire love, because it is definitely a hell of a drug.
And I am suffering, from not receiving long standing love.
Love, I say, is the simple answer, to every complicated question.