I am sorry; practical hope

I was heavily lost since your love left.

I was heavily distraught in discomfort and dissolved into broken pieces of love, anger, and emotions too muddy to piece together, stone together, or even beginning to bring it into, to something cohesive…

I shattered my own heart, in pursuit of perfection, bringing you along with me.

Your love turned into hate, and love was no longer reciprocated.

And hearing those words, broke the strong and alpha mentality that I had, have and developed.

I did not realize what I did, until the moment I said I would atone…

And even after, I was still lost – creating new meaning and love for my life.

My soul was on the brink of pure death, and on the edges of beginning my quest of redemption; the long journey of peace and reflection of my childhood and teenage trauma was being mended.

Love.

Love is truly, a crazy good thing.

My head became cloudy and hazy, pursuing and chasing the thing that will never ever make its way back.

Hopeless.

I hoped on nevertheless, and dreamed as far as my imagination could possibly take me.

I did everything, running in place.

Cycling back and forth.

Where did I go wrong, why did I do such a thing?

I took a stone, and bashed my heart until it was stripped to just moist warm redness.

And I carried on, with ambition still running through my heartless body.

I became animalistic, in some ways angelic, and demon-ish…

As I demolished, my mind, and ran it into the dirt road.

Hoping to glide again, on our silver linen.