Some wish to talk about their happy ending.
Most would rather, speak of the success and final resolution.
But no, not me.
I am never free, from pain witnessed, felt, and inflicted on myself.
Why would I?
Why should I, impose induced amnesia and pretend that I am fully healed or partially broken.
And the truth is, the reality is this – life keeps going, until it stops.
And then we make it to the other side…
But existing as we know it persists.
And it would be utter foolishness to block memories, repress emotions, or lie to myself. I need constant healing because pain never stops.
You cannot run from pain, I learned that you must run towards it.
My heart is a shell, and it’s insides are mechanisms and ways of being – an intelligence of its own.
But what scares me and frightens me is this, how many others are walking with trauma, untold, and projecting it onto others.
Causing more darkness, and leaving me hopeless.
I always imagine I can change the world, but what a mighty goal, and what an ambitious task indeed…
But your love, your presence, your time, is enlightening, enriching, empowering and so much more. So many words I need to say.
But I presume, and hope that this is only a start.
I really want to be near you again, you are something of an angelic Phoenix.
You are a magnificent spectacle.
And I am so very, entranced.