Distraught

My amygdala is feeling all of you.

And I am stuck at what I am supposed to do…

My emotions are feeling, but also it does a lot of healing.

Putting them all into you, with none really into myself.

Sometimes I feel like I should just be pouring it all into myself.

My brain hurts and I need actual love,

Putting me first and nothing else above.

I’ve been locked and chained multiple times.

And I feel like being me is truly a crime.

Nonconformist, ingenuity and wise.

I wish you could just stare into my eyes.

Maybe you will see the truth and through the lies.

And maybe you will feel more and see more, with soul.

Because the heart is worth more than gold.

It is worth more than books, knowledge and logic.

It is what is truly real, and honest.

I write this with heart and truth.

Lord knows that I am logical, and rational.

But I know that my heart is what is more powerful, and true.

I don’t want to be alone, and I don’t want to pressure…

But I had a few drinks and now I am feeling lesser –

Confident, focused, and visionary;

And I am losing strength before our preliminary.

April 12

April 12

My mind is battling, struggling, but I love pain.

I like the feeling of being lost and feeling insane.

I like the feeling of loneliness, and feeling drained.

Because I am lost and found.

A paradox.

I am confident and independently individualistic.

But truly, to be honest, your love is what has been missing.

I throw away my pride, trying to keep it away.

But it is so hard when memories do not seem to fade.

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