Days without

I am taking days for myself, alone.

I am searching again, for home.

I am feet deep, in black.

I am knee deep, trapped…

In loneliness and misunderstanding.

I am close to allowing my scars to being re-damaged.

I promised to not write you, to stay consistent.

But I miss your heart and willingness to listen.

Sad affliction.

I need something, I don’t even know what.

My mind hurts and I am stuck.

I can’t stay here, I need to express.

Moving through the darkness, moving through it, and mixing myself in it.

Evil.

Suicide.

Letting them out.

Lord knows I am not foolish.

But there is darkness, that I must let out.

I am saddened and worried, frustrated and hurried.

Lord knows I’ve been blessed, but I can not afford too many and if not any mistakes.

Suicidal thoughts, drowning in this lake.

Some call it demons, but I take from them and see it for what it is.

I don’t want to be here, and I rather be dead.