Pain ~

I feel a void in my heart area.

I feel a darkness so deep and vast in my heart area and chest.

It feels heavy, and harsh, but I feel like I am capable of carrying this dark void and emptiness…

It does not feel like pain, but it feels like nothing.

It feels like chaos.

It feels like depression, sadness and anxiety encased…

It feels like ether.

It feels like loneliness.

It feels like my deepest desires, and strongest wishes.

It feels like emptiness and hurt…

It feels like tons, heaviness.

It feels too much.

But day by day, I can love and exist with peace.

This feels like so much, but I will dig deep…

I always do.

I am an athlete.

I have to, to see what I am made of.

I feel like I can’t cry, and I don’t want to.

It feels like I want to express to a partner, woman and love.

It feels like I am alone and desolate, but it won’t be this way forever, it also feels like.

It feels like I have to maintain integrity and strength for my grit.

To keep going.

I can’t slow down…

Running in place.

I just, I just know what I want.

And I feel like I won’t get it here, but some time later in life.

Love.

I have to figure out how to fight over this blackness and void that I have inside.

Loveless, but full of soul.

Penniless, but full of Gold…

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