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The inner burdens feel like heavy castles.

The layers of reality change and transcend so often that I feel like I need to change my inner workings just as often.

And I feel stoned like a statue, trying to move past this depressive state.

It is a hectic state.

I cannot escape.

Wanting to go some place, that doesn’t exist, while coping with this life and my current fate.
& The truth is I am forever chained.

I am destined to battle an illness so deep and harsh, that it is like me being a black bird trapped in a melted white…

I have to dodge meltdowns, and judging from civilization, and I have to conform instead of being colorful and lively.

I don’t want to be crazy or uncivilized, and I respect the organization of society.

But my heart tells me at times, this is not the real you.

You are much more wild at heart.
And that’s when I make my pencil as sharp,

And that’s when the top line I start – to write.

And I begin to setting my passion right.

Perhaps, the heart is connected to a much more beautiful, and powerful side of existence.

With persistence, I dream of a more freeing day.

While coping with this side of aliveness, and realizing it is only half play.