Page 31.

I never truly understood my place; I just wanted out of this place.
I just wanted out of this race.

I’ve been wandering, while embracing aesthetic values.

If I see the crowd going on one street, I would rather take a different avenue.

Freedom, I’ve been after you –
But I know you are illusory now.

And that may be foul, the fact of the nature of living in America is like living a dystopia now.

I always have this nagging sense that something, someone is controlling us.

Swaying us.
Delaying us.

Like a video game, something is playing us.

But I try not to get too deeply into that realm of thought, I try to work with what I got.

I focus on the little things and disregard the brittle things –
Like money, cars, and clothes.

But still I feel nudged to pursue those things.
I wish that I can undo some things… Like what we were taught in schools, and what we are entertained by.

These things make us insane by,
Influencing our very actions…
Busy trying to come up with clever captions.
Entrapped in,
by the ego.
In class, I go against the grain and ask questions that no one asks.

All of this conformity makes me want to spazz.

I’m searching for answers that no one has.
And it seems like society is swayed by fads.
And all of the black kids have no more dads.

The more absurd I see society to be; It makes me want to become a better me.
I wrote this poem as a letter, a beginning to many.
Poetic discourse, I have plenty.
Exploring my conscious thoughts, even if I feel others do not have any.